Yes, this is my art and photography site/blog but I’m also a mother and I figured once in a while it would be nice to share a little of my personal life. My daughter has therapy 4 times a week each one at a different location and at different times. She has cerebral palsy caused by the doctor who delivered her at birth. Throw in doctor appointments, constant paperwork, and dance therapy in the fall and there is barely any time for fun “normal” things let alone for me to even catch my breath until the weekend finally arrives. Some days are hard for me and I find myself in a funk. On these days I try to imagine myself as a super mom. Literally. I try to imagine myself in a chic pair of yoga pants (ha ha), hair in a bun, with a cape around my shoulders flapping heroically behind me while I kick some butt. But lets be real: as exhausted as I am some days the tip of the hat goes to my daughter.
Here are my 5 reasons she’s already a better adult than I am:
1. She works harder than I do.
Yea, I do the paperwork, I’m the cheerleader, the chauffeur, the maid and the cook but could I do all that with two leg restraints on? NO. Could I have someone correcting everything my body does that I couldn’t control? Could I relearn how to use my entire left side and do it without feeling bad for myself or being resentful? Nope. No amount of work I do could ever match the drive and determination she has to gain control of her own body. 2. She knows she’s different. And she doesn’t care.
It wasn’t until I was an adult that I had complete confidence in myself and knew who I was and how strong of a woman I am. She is 3 years old and has more strength and (pardon my language) balls than half of the adults I know now. A child from a daycare class came up to Ava during therapy and it was a hard day for her because she had to wear two leg restraints that day and asked her “What’s wrong with you?”. Of course my first instinct was to swoop in and defend her but I waited. I knew she didn’t need my help. She looked at the other girl and said: “I’m a super hero”. Then asked the girl how her day was. My child can handle her own and my heart couldn’t be more filled with pride.
3. She never makes me feel guilty.
As a parent I never feel like I’ve done enough for my child. Every day feels like work. Routine. Wake up, Give her seizure medicine, eat, put on leg brace, hand glove, go to therapy, nap, do more therapy at home, work if I can and then it’s bed time. She’ll watch T.V. Always Disney channel. She see’s the castle and loses her breath. “Mom, I want to see it”. I’m too busy working around our schedule and worrying about money to remember to have fun. Or to even take a break. Or to even afford the break she deserves. She loves the days when we can just go to Chikfila and share a milkshake. Or run around in Target. Things I don’t consider fun; she turns them into a party and for that enthusiasm I am grateful. I feel like a hero grocery shopping. She makes the small things big things.
4. She “let’s things go”
I’ve been working on a waiver for several months trying to get her assistance to pay for therapy. I’ve been denied 4 times. It stresses me out. It keeps me up at night. She is terrified of only 2 things she has to go through and after she’s done she moves on. Once a week she has to have one eye dilated because her surgery in December didn’t work. The summer sun hurts her eye so bad she can barely see outside or play but does she complain? NO. Every 4 months I have to hold her down so the nurse won’t strap her down because she gets Botox. A needle longer than my pointer finger. I want to cry and some nights after she’s asleep, I do. Shots in her thumb, her arm, her leg. Just to help her move better. She cries and screams. Then she’s done. Nothing. And doesn’t complain. She handles it like a grown man. I’m in awe and jealous of her strength.
5. She sees NO FLAWS.
At my age and being a full time mom it’s hard for me to make friends. For Ava? Everyone is a friend. She sees no boundaries. No handicaps. She compliments everything about you from your cool Frozen book bag to the wheels on your wheelchair. If a child can’t talk, she’ll sit by them and read to them (and she can’t even read yet). Have a leg brace? She’ll gladly show you hers and relish every thing you two have in common (She’s a mini Taylor Swift for sure) Why can’t we as adults be like this?
I’m inspired by my child and the life we live together. My biggest fear is that I struggle at times to give and provide her with the things she needs and deserves. And so the reason this ties into what I do is because not only am I inspired by her, I do everything I do FOR her. So when you decide to work with me, you are also working for her. Every dime I make goes towards giving my child a better life and a better chance at having what everyone wants: just to be like everyone else. To be a kid. A kid who gets to play like every other kid. That is my wish for her. And with her being the amazing person she is I know she can do anything. She’s proved every doctor wrong this far. Why stop now?